i wish i was a toaster.

if i honestly had the ability to put food inside me and then painlessly eject it, i'd be the happiest person on earth.

i had fun yesterday. it was nice, hanging out with jitterbug. (i actually called her that accidentally. now it's stuck. oops!) we talked about a lot of stuff at the park while we sat on  the swings and sat on the grass.we watched duck and geese and a solitary crow. we laughed about clingy friends. we made silly faces. we talked about tattoos, parents and necessary rebellion. (to resist is our duty when injustice is law. ya know.) turns out we have more in common than i would have guessed. then it started getting colder, so she said we should go get something to eat. i let her pick, because when someone asks what you want to eat, you can't really say nothing. "i don't know" is more acceptable. we took pictures in a photo booth. i'd never done that before. they came out pretty well. it was also the first time i ever really hung out with someone on a saturday. so that was cool. we only ate a little bit. (though a little is still more than i'd wanted.) it was like, two hundred and ninety calories of take out. so all in all, not bad. two thumbs up, for time well spent.

i decided to fast today, sometime between eating the lo mein and getting home. i'm doing so well too. i haven't eaten yet. and wouldn't you know it, my mother went to get groceries. but get this-- she got baby food for me.

holy shit.

i was everything but interested when she said she got groceries. but i was shocked into coming downstairs when she said, "i got some baby food." weird. but i'm still not eating.

i'm down to one hundred and twenty two pounds now; there's no way i'm screwing this up. my collarbones are really starting to show. and it isn't just like, oh yeah, i see them moving under the surface of my skin. they're actually sticking out. it's lovely.

i've got books piled up to keep myself busy for more than a few days. i'm watching gossip girl, which isn't as bad as i expected (especially since all of these girls have their collarbones so far out you could see 'em from space) and i've got five years worth of episodes to watch. that should be fun. plus i've got homework to make up. when that's done, i'll start making a scarf for sticks, although i may not actually give it to her. i've got enough gum to keep my breath fresh for a while too.

now, if you'll excuse me, i'm going to do some crunches and look for more books in my house.

oh, and happy easter. i like this holiday. you don't see live ducks in holidays too often. (come on, we all know rabbits don't lay eggs. ducks do.) so, yay for ducks. and rabbits too, i suppose... but if you see a rabbit lay a "chocolate egg", i strongly suggest you leave it where it is.

honestly.