go to sleep, go to sleep...

my best friend and one of his other best friends were drinking together last night. he decided to pass the phone so he could steal some more wine. it was cool, making a new friend. since my interests are fairly widespread, it isn't hard for me to talk with people. but it did suck when they said i was pretty cool. for a girl, anyway.

i mean, it was a lovely thought and i totally appreciated it for all of fifteen seconds. and then i caught a glimpse of my thighs. just laying on the bed. and, i dunno, my face fell. i stayed awake all night and finally passed out at ten, only to wake up two hours later. and i've been awake since then. i haven't eaten, because i keep thinking about how fat i am.

one of my other friends has started exercising ferociously. i asked him how often he exercises and he said almost every day, for about six hours. very cool. i wish i could do that, but i can't function at all in the summer. i tried skating for an hour today and i came home literally soaked in sweat. absolutely disgusting. but it was good, i suppose. halfway through the hour, my heart was pounding and i felt like collapsing. but i waited until i came home to do that.

two hours later, i'm still not tired. 

i would drink some tea but my mom brought home something from a co-worker. a kettle or two of that later, felt like a mini version of the night i drank a bottle of prune juice. i don't know what it is, but i'm not drinking any more of it for a while. (laxative tea, maybe? i always dreamed of that...)

our fridge broke a few days ago, so all there is to eat are some canned fruit, beans, frozen veggies and veggie meat. along with other crap. like crackers. oddly, i want to eat less because my options were taken away.

oh well.

maybe i'll go try to fall asleep again. i want to sleep.

honestly.