"good is just the enemy of great and you have to work everyday to get closer to being great."

hazel-rah said that to me last night, while he was at the gym. i like it. it was preceded by "unfortunately, no matter how good you are, something is off." i think he slipped inside my brain, pulled out all the odd bits, and arranged them in a way that sounded slightly less insane. i say things like that to myself, but they never sound normal. what's up with that? actually, most things i say don't sound normal, even simple things like, "hello" or "goodbye" or "i wish i was taking organic chemistry". it's a blessing and a curse, i suppose.

speaking of sounding crazy...

i'm in this sign language class, and we have this group presentation to do. groups of two, which is better than groups of three, which is way better than groups of four. and so on. anyway, we (my partner and i) decided to present if you're happy and you know it. but we're replacing happy with different emotions. so we were sitting together, using our combined brain power, and we wrote down happy, sad, angry, tired. and then she was like, what other emotions are there? and i said hungry. and she was like, hungry's not really an emotion, is it? and i gave some pseudo-logical explanation that she reluctantly accepted. (for the record, i don't think hunger is an emotion.) then we were doing "if you're ____ and you know it, you can _____". (you already know where this is going.) so we started writing them down. if you're happy and you know it, you can smile. if you're sad and you know it, you can cry. if you're angry and you know it, stomp your feet. if you're tired and you know it, go to sleep. easy. and then i was like, what do you do if you're hungry?

in my mind, it seemed like a valid question. not to her. she just kind of laughed and said, eat. but she said it in that semi-questioning way people say things when the answer should be totally obvious. so i just kind of laughed and said, rigghhtt.

also today, i patted my friend on the shoulder, and instantly enamored with the boniness of his body, continued to pat his shoulder at random moments throughout our class. he, luckily, thought nothing of it.

i'm currently semi-obsessed with one tree hill. yes, i watched gossip girl over the summer. so sue me. i think i'm regressing-- i may have said this before, which only solidifies the thought in my mind-- back into childhood. kind of. i'm moving backwards, anyway. mentally. in a way.

i ran into a group of my old friends the other day, and i was instantly offended by how their lives seem to have leapfrogged forward, while mine seems to be hobbling like an old man with two broken legs. never mind the fact that they're all older than me, and speaking from a chronological viewpoint, they're not really speeding through life. (if life is a highway.) i was pretty angry. irritated. displeased.

do you ever feel like life is playing duck duck goose with you and a bunch of other people, and they're all ducks, and you're the goose and life is chasing you around the circle with a sledgehammer screeching, "i'm gonna get ya!!" ?

'cause i felt like that.

who wants to be a goose, anyway? they just  leave poop in parks and create noise pollution at odd hours of the day. and toy makers don't make rubber geese. they make rubber ducks. obviously, if something is worth turning into a toy, it's better than something else. and what kind of game is duck duck goose anyway? why would children willingly choose to label their peers in such a harsh way?

that being said, i just looked up duck duck goose on google, and i found duck, duck, goose: the ultimate guide to cooking waterfowl, both farmed and wild. so i guess it doesn't matter which you are, you'll end up in hot water anyway.

*sigh*

i don't even know what this post was supposed to be about anymore.

honestly.