you're kidding, right?

i like practicing my guitar at a stream near my house. it's really lovely, sparks my creativity and usually no one's there. can't play in front of my house, apparently, because "the neighbors need their sleep." AT FUCKING FOUR IN THE AFTERNOON. "and one of the neighbors has a baby." THAT'S THREE YEARS OLD. (yes, mother. you make a good argument.) it's a decent half hour walk to get there from my house, and with a guitar on my back, i burn a good amount of calories on the round trip. but lately, people have started fishing there.

ew.

i'm not saying that because i'm a vegan, because i'm not one of those vegans. but the water (no exaggeration) looks like every hobo in america came and took a shit in it. really. i'm serious. moving on, though... i was practicing and these people were fishing and it was fine for a while. then one of them moved downstream and saw me sitting there, and when he went back, they turned up their stereo. assholes. so i left. i'm not a fan of confrontation.

then i came home. and my mother came home not too long after. the first thing she said was,

WHY ARE YOU OPENING THE DOOR LIKE THAT; I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR FIXING IT.

....that wasn't important. the second thing she said was,

WHY ARE YOU STAYING HOME AND EATING ALL DAY. LOOK AT THIS SINK, FULL OF DISHES... CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT. ALL YOU DO IS COOK AND EAT.

i found that absolutely hilarious, because i've only eaten twice this week: last night and this afternoon, and it was one veggie burger that i split into two parts. on one plate. and even though she gave me change to buy lunch (since the fridge is broken and all) i bought shampoo instead. and besides the ONE PLATE that i used, i only used the kettle (still on the stove) and my cup (washed and put away). but obviously, telling her that wouldn't have been a good idea. in fact, for about ten minutes after she said that, i was tempted to cook a bunch of stuff and eat it in front of her. but... that's not helping anyone, obviously.

plus, my best friend FINALLY realized he isn't in love with his girlfriend-- which everyone's known for ages now-- just in time to fall for some german bitch who he didn't even talk to that much before she went back to germany. (i'm sure she's a lovely girl. i'm just tied up too tight right now.) he said she wasn't beautiful "in society's eyes, probably..." and my first thought was "so...she's fat." which is totally harsh of me. like, she could have been balding or had braces or something. but regardless of all that, it's like, DUDE, why are you with this girl?  you obviously can't talk to her about anything. she doesn't like you for who you are, just who you have to pretend to be around her. PLUS you've obviously moved on from her.

and the best part? some neighbor i've never talked to (and i mean NEVER) invited me and my fam jam to his son's graduation party next sunday. just because his son graduated at the top of his class or something like that. i mean, who cares. if he finds a decent job, THEN let's celebrate.

honestly.