as if i had all the time in the world.

i love you guys so much that instead of taking notes in my class earlier (about six or seven hours ago), i wrote something in my notebook. it's not as amusing as it was earlier, at least not to me. i'm gonna put it in italics, because i am gonna write more stuff after this. but i wrote it down to share with you, so i'm gonna share it with you. corrections and all. deal with it.

i'm writing this in class. we're talking about eating disorders today. i came in late because i forgot today's was lesson was on e-ds, but i guess my subconscious remembered. when i walked in, the first words i saw were "vomiting", "laxatives", and "fasting". "bulimia". "anorexia".

yay.

that being said, i'm not amused by the lack of knowledge (and sensitivity) of my professor. i am amused by level of distress. i can honestly feel my body withdrawing into itself. retracting, even. basically, i hate this class right now. i like my teacher, though. he's stupid, so i've come to accept this as a fact of being in this class. i like him because of it. i admire his stupidity, and ability to still be a professor. man, if i could pull off a scheme like this...

i made a bed-wetting joke. go me. :)

so, is it just me or is life in general really triggering? don't get me wrong. size zero girls wearing revealing clothing? no food for the day. morbidly obese woman being too close for too long? gotta get some extra exercise in. but life in general-- mean people, irritation, bad grades (or good grades)... anything. it's all bad. 

also, i'm behind in my hw. which automatically means caffeine and pills. all night long.

ooh, now we're on pyromania.

i should pay attention to this. fire is good.

honestly.

so, that was during class time. it looked like i was taking excellent notes, and i got to tell you about my class. win-win. of course, after a class on eating disorders, who else would i miss but banana? so i sent her a couple texts. there was this really great part of our conversation. really. freaking. great. she was telling me she's doing the raw diet thing again. eighty-ten-ten raw, if you don't remember that day. which you shouldn't. (unless you're a creep. then you're a weirdo. what the hell are you doing here? you don't belong here.) also in that post, if you remember the lovely sticks... call me a romantic, but i kind of want to see her again. so i'm working on that. seeing her next semester. regularly. unavoidable. i'm gonna make it happen. i never had a more triggering crush than that girl. well, as far as girls go. whatever. she's still one of the cutest things ever. (you'll find her mentioned here, and then here, and then here. and maybe a lot more in the future, hm? fingers crossed.)

okay, enough stalling. i have three papers to do in the next... eightyish minutes. sounds impossible, right?

wrong.

get ready to be amazed.

honestly.

actually, on the off chance that i totally don't finish all three papers tonight, i will be totally honest and say "ha! i'm so full of myself sometimes." but if i do finish it, WHICH ISN'T TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE, i'm gonna be all like, "why don't i just do these things earlier and not wait until the last eighty minutes before they're due?" okay. enough stalling. i'd better go do my homework.

honestly.