you ever feel like goldilocks?

crush # 4 gets his own post. remember: i said the number meant absolutely nothing about their level of importance. he didn't make the top three because the only conversation we had (until today) was three lines, shouted across the college's campus. and i didn't even know his name, so i couldn't give him a nickname.

let's get right to it, shall we?

this is what happened.

• i wanted to play hide and seek, because i arrived at school two hours too early for my finals.
• i convinced a friend of mine to play hide and seek. naturally, i hid first.
• i went to the second floor of the building we were in, and i sat at the first table i saw.
• i realized that the table i was sitting at had a person already sitting there.
• i realized that the person already sitting there was (you guessed it) # 4.
• he recognized me, knew what game i was playing, and accepted those two things in under a minute.
• we made small talk while laughing at my friend who, to our mutual astonishment, could not see me and passed me several times. at arm's length.
• my friend gave up looking for me; i quit playing and decided to hang out with # 4 until we had to take our finals.
• we studied together, made small talk every once in a while, and then went to take our finals.

while we were sitting together, one of my friends (who has a crush on me, because he's demented) dropped a flyer on the table for this thing he's playing the guitar in. and # 4 looked at me, asked if my friend was any good, and then asked if i was going. i replied yes to both. he also asked me how much longer i was stuck at this dreadful school, what music i was into, what instrument i played, and what major i was. and i asked him how much longer he was stuck at this dreadful school, what music he was into, what instruments he played, and what major he was. among other things. i had to resist saying "where have you been all my life semester?" by the end of this conversation.

also, # 3 is no longer the tallest. now it's this guy. i actually asked him how tall he was, which i do very rarely. he's 6' 6''. that's over a foot taller than me! walking next to him, i felt like a smurf. i liked it. the only problem was that i was really nervous about sitting still near him too long, like if i stayed in the same position long enough, he'd see me the way i see me. and that would be bad. so i kept jumping up and running off for weird reasons. also because i have the attention span of a dead flea right now.

well, okay, there might be another problem. i'm not entirely sure how old he is. i mean,  # 3 was no spring chicken, but this person is of indeterminable age. i suck at guessing these things, regardless of gender or situation. whatever. he's still on the list, no matter how old he is.

so maybe i'll see him on monday, at my friend's recital. that would be nice. 

he was studying the brain when i interrupted him. how hot is that? his handwriting is great, he can spell, he's amiable, he's neat, he eats bel-vita crackers, and he's the tallest person i've seen at our college. as soon as he told me he was 6' 6'', i thought about this quote from a book i've read at least a hundred times.

"You ever feel like Goldilocks?"

Ben looks up. He looks surprised to see Sethie in his doorway, but he doesn't miss a beat and replies, "Doesn't she complain that the beds are too soft and too hard, not too big or too small?"

"Close enough."

Ben shrugs. "Close enough," he repeats.

"Ever get tired of not quite fitting on the furniture?"

"Yes. And i really think they should have discounts for people who can only fit into SUVs and first-class seats on the plane."

Sethie laughs, "That makes it sound like a handicap."

Ben laughs back, "Sometimes it feels like one."

Sethie nods, suddenly serious. She imagines Ben squeezing into spaces that don't quite fit, wishing he were just a little bit smaller. In that respect, she thinks, we're actually quite similar.

the stone girl by alyssa b. sheinmel

i think i read too much. but i bet that's really how it is when you're very tall sometimes. i just have to make sure i never ask him that question. 

i thought of a nickname for him right after he told me his name. and then i decided i hated it. now that i think about it (again) i kind of want to call him lurch, as in the addams family's amazingly tall companion. but i want something that fits better. whatever. time for some late-night tea partyin'. 

after all the drooling i did over this guy today, i need to re-hydrate.

honestly.