fluffy clouds and sky.

feeling a bit better today. partly because i snuggled with my old teddy bear last night. (i did say i enjoy familiarity every once in a while, right?) i've had this snoopy plush since i was barely three years old. you wouldn't believe me if i told you i had to fight to keep him. that's how special he is. *feels like a baby* but anyways. thanks for the support. took a while to sink in, but it really helped.

i've spent most of today re-reading my favorite books, listening to music, looking at thinspo, and drawing a little bit in my journal. it comes out looking really childish.  i've been drawing things like mermaids with lovely ribs. bunnies with carrots saying, "mmm, negative calories." girls in catsuits who remind me to eat no evil. i found scented nail polish in my house and gave myself a mini-manicure. my nails smell like a strawberry sundae and sparkle from the glitter. they make me smile. ^^ i'm also watching the mailbox, waiting for a package. hopefully it comes today.

my mom and i had one of those physically draining verbal fights last night. i reminded her that she said i could join the gym after i registered and she said something like, "is that why you registered? so you could join a gym?" it was definitely on the list of reasons why i stopped procrastinating, but i wasn't going to admit that. anyway, i said no and repeated that i still wanted to join. she started yelling and i stopped talking. no sense in wasting energy. then she said something about me ruining my future or something, and i totally flipped out. caught her off guard. she didn't say anything for the rest of the night. or this morning. maybe that's why i'm feeling better too. peace is always relaxing.

a friend of ana -- i'm pushing through as best as i can. bit like running through a tar pit, but i'm getting there. thanks for the boost. :)

mich -- it has to be the moon. and i'm fabulous? o: haha, thanks! so are you! <3

christina -- mothers... i'm trying to not let it get to me. some days are just worse than others, i guess. thanks for the support. <3

seriously, guys, thanks a lot. by the way, i'm back on track. it's not like i gained a stone or anything. and what goes up must come down, right? (fuck you, scale.) i was reading some shel silverstein earlier. where the sidewalk ends is one of my favorite books by him. and the only one i own, haha. came across this really groovy poem. i'm going to write out the first part, decorate it and put it on my wall somewhere. you can read the whole thing if you want.

poor angus.

oh what do you do, poor angus,

when hunger makes you cry?

"i fix myself an omelet, sir,

of fluffy clouds and sky."

vegans don't eat eggs, you know. and i think i used to enjoy omelets very much. almost as much as pizza. i'll have to try that recipe later. it sounds delicious. and very low-cal, too! haha, the strawberry scented nail polish fumes must be getting to me.

but i don't mind.

honestly.