i'm ready.

i always felt weird about saying happy new year. i feel like the new year starts on the day you're born. but still, with respect for the calendar and all, happy new year. {I LOVE YOU GUYS.}

i'm ready for the new year.

i do this every year; i'm honest with myself and think about what i need to change. so i'm ready for the new year. i don't want to change completely. i just want to become the kind of person i'd love to be around all the time. i'm silly and i overreact but we all do that sometimes. and sometimes i blow things out of proportion and sometimes i act like things don't bother me when they really shake me up. i can't always be one hundred percent honest with people, especially when i care about them. i back away from people who act like they care about me because i don't want to get hurt. so i keep people at a distance because i don't want helpers that will run away.

i heard "birds of a feather flock together" long before i heard "opposites attract" so i've always believed that if you want to be surrounded by a certain type of people, you should be that kind of person yourself. so i try to be friendly and cheerful and kind to strangers even when i'm feeling bad because that's the kind of person i'd want to be around me. and i can't really see myself as a beautiful person on the outside, even though sometimes people tell me i'm pretty. people tell me i have talent in certain areas and i can't really believe that either. so even if it's not closely linked, want to reach my goal so that maybe if i can honestly start to believe in myself, i'll be surrounded by people who honestly believe in me too.

something like that. ˙˙

uhmm... didn't get the treadmill. (figures, that lady sucks.) but that's okay, because even if i don't have a treadmill, i'll do jumping jacks in the basement and crunches on my floor and whatever it takes to get where i want to be.

i think every second is a chance to start over, to fix a mistake. so even if your year hasn't started well, don't lose hope, okay? it'll get better. just believe in yourself.

haha, i should work for hallmark or something.

anyway, i'll do my best to become the kind of person i can be proud of.