11.20.2013

the minimalist.

i was on the bus this morning, reading one of the books on my list (life-size by jennifer shute), when my mind started racing wildly (as usual). my train of thought went something like this:

home is where the heart is. (don't ask me where this initial thought came from). so my home must be my body, then. if i'm a minimalist, my home shouldn't be cluttered or full of unnecessary things. therefore, it should be as small as possible. (and then i somehow jumped to) storing fat must be like hoarding. and hoarding is not okay. people who hoard end up on those weird tv shows, where other people can laugh/stare/snarl at the massive amounts of crap they've managed to hold on to for years. and storing massive amounts of fat is just as gross as storing massive amounts of rat poop, or baby squirrel skeletons, or whatever it is people are into these days. (and of course, i found myself thinking) it's definitely a lot worse to hoard fat than to hoard rat poop, because at least no one would know you were storing rat poop unless they came to your house and saw your disgusting, but impressive collection. fat is like, there. constantly on display.

gross.

wait. book lists. that reminds me. monkey mind is next on my list. the memoir, about anxiety. i'm excited.

anyway, now i'm sitting in school (supposedly doing homework). yoshi, my old buddy, is sitting near me. i can't help but admire his boniness. as he previously told me, he only eats one meal a day. wouldn't you know it-- he ate it just now, in front of me. eating in front of people is kind of a big deal, right? you don't just eat with anyone. you eat with people who've earned the right to watch you consume food. (am i right? or am i totally deluded? i don't know.) actually, while my sister was here --incidentally, she appears to have gained fifty pounds since i last saw her. no hyperbole here; she really did gain weight-- she ate in front of me. and ate, and ate, and ate. i kind of wish some people wouldn't eat around me. but it's different with yoshi since he doesn't normally eat in front of people.

i'm losing my train of thought. where's my brain today....

yeah, so i'm admiring his sleekness while he does his homework. and while i pretend to do mine. it's easy to not get caught staring at someone when they're focused on something else. i like his hands especially. see, he's holding his phone, and every time he moves a finger, you can see his bones shifting through the skin on the back of his hand. beautiful. absolutely beautiful.

speaking of beautiful, i was on the stairs in school the other day, and this guy popped up in front of me and we made eye contact. i didn't expect it. his eyes were, for lack of a better word, orgasmic. seriously. i looked into his eyes, gasped, and said, "oh my god... your eyes are beautiful." and then i stared into them long enough for him to feel uncomfortable and slink away. but i'll see him again. (muahahaha! we go to the same college. it's inevitable.)

by the way, yoshi gave me a wristband a little while ago, and he told me it glows in the dark. so obviously, i put it on. i was totally pleased with how well it doesn't fit. seriously. i can fit my entire other hand through the space between my wrist and this thing. i like it.

you know what else i like?

that i gotta pee right now.

but it was fun, updating like this. let's do this again sometime.

honestly.

2 comments:

Ashley Nichole said...

You are so wonderful, just keep on shining!

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

i love your thought process with the hoarding and the not. wow. it's just splendid really. i hate you for it. you're so brilliant!
i'm gleaming with compliments, am i not?
i eat in front of just anyone. in fact, i prefer to eat in front of people so they don't get the idea that i don't eat at all or something of that liking.
OH YES. THE SISTER WEIGHT GAIN. THAT'S JUST BLOODY PERFECT BECAUSE I WAS HOPING FOR THAT.
"and while i pretend to do mine" i cannot with you
"see, he's holding his phone, and every time he moves a finger, you can see his bones shifting through the skin on the back of his hand." that. that. I WOULD LOVE THAT ON MY HAND. CAN I HAVE IT
yes. update like this. you should do it some time, flower!!!

-Sam Lupin

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