6.22.2012

abracadabra.

it's been a while.

to put it mildly.

a lot of things were going on, i suppose. fighting with my mom hasn't been physical, but i'm not sure if that's because i keep myself locked up in my room or because i keep her locked out of it. either way, it doesn't matter. despite the fact that i haven't broken her nose, we're really not getting along. in the worst way. so i'm leaving next year. started saving up for that, planned (for once) and everything.

who's still got two thumbs and no self esteem? this girl, right here.

actually, not too long after i vanished (from here), i was reading all these interviews with jeff buckley, (because yes, i am maybe still obsessed with him a little bit) and i was like, "oh. hm. sounds like a bipolar. i wonderrr...." and then there was this whole weird period where i was just listening to his music and playing along on my guitar while i waited for his biography to come in the mail, and then i read it and i was like, OMG. because he was bipolar. which, you know, is like... jinkies. jeff. and so i just had to call odette, since she's bipolar and she swears i am too. naturally, she didn't care. but that didn't stop me from talking about him. ya know, until she was all like, "hey, you should come over sometime so we can.... CALL A PSYCHIATRIST AND MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU."

yeah, really? no thanks.

although, with the way i've been lately, that's probably the best plan i've heard all summer. still, probably not gonna happen. especially since that conversation happened three weeks ago, and i said i'd call the next day. i lied. so sue me.

that was probably the only good thing that happened. finding out jeff buckley was bipolar. which isn't a good thing.

i don't know.

i've been spending so much time keeping myself away from people that i actually talk to myself while i'm walking my dog. and by myself, i mean what you'd consider imaginary friends. but since i'm the only one that knows they're there... and i spend so much time locked in my room that my sheets are amazingly filthy. they're white, so i can see the amount of dirt in 'em. i just hope there's something stronger than bleach.

soooooooo. yeah.s

i'm alright. (though i'm using that word very loosely.)

i hope you've all been doing alright.

i missed it here.

honestly.

2 comments:

❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

STOP DISAPPEARING TIM BURTON'S CHILD
i hear you. Mothers. think they know what's best for you. yeah fucking right.
gosh. Mothers. -__-
you're going to escape their evil clutches? YHEY.
JEFF BUCKLEY SOUNDS AMAZING
BIPOLAR ODETTE. awesome!
"CALL A PSYCHIATRIST AND MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU." <--OMG OMG OMG OMG CALL ME I WANT TO BE A PSYCHIATRIST
my sheets are purple. :)
and i have maids to strip my bed so. yeah.
when you ask us if we're doing alright, i hope you don't mean the loosely based term.
yours sincerely, truly,
Sam.

ex anima said...

If you can afford it, seeing a therapist just to talk isn't a bad thing. What's the worst that could happen? They can't force you to do anything unless you confess to kill yourself or other people that same day. Having someone not in your social circle to talk to and blather on about nothing is a good de-stressor, especially if you're avoiding the people you do know at the moment.

Also, hydrogen peroxide/baking soda does well to remove said filth :)

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