2.20.2012

yawning? me? no way.

naturally, i'm awake even though i meant to go to bed earlier. (not really, i could care less.)

who's got a day off? this girl. right here.

i think i'm addicted to baby food (especially gerber) because it tastes amazing and it's insanely portable. and shit, it's the cutest thing ever. all i need now are some mini spoons. and broccoli. i mean, green beans, peas, carrots-- yeah, thanks guys. i get it already. how about some broccoli? right? where is that located in the baby food aisle? well, i have no idea.

speaking of aisles, i haven't bought laxatives in forever. (i see the connection there. do you?) those little bastards are addictive. gotta get some.

MOST AWKWARD THING HAPPENED TODAY.

well, not the most awkward, but definitely high on the scale.

i was in a friend's car, telling her about how gorgeous my best friend is. so of course, i have to show her pictures using the highly convenient kindle fire located in my bag. so i go to web, naturally. (DAMN YOU, AMAZON.) and of course, the last website i was on opens up. not like, a blank tab kind of thing. but like, a NOTALLOWEDTOEAT.TUMBLR.COM kind of thing. the funny thing is that it was a littttle hard to cover up. luckily, the sun was in front of us, so i'm going to hope she didn't see it. but if she happened to, what i did next is probably going to make her wonder how crazy i am.

i recovered quickly and did the whole facebook thing for her. i told her about my friend and how awesome we are together and how his girlfriend sucks because she's a fake ballerina and she neglects him and just like this sentence, it went on a little too long. at which point my friend said, "she's not that pretty." and not even in that i'm-trying-to-make-you-feel-better kind of way. she honestly meant it. so then i said something along the lines of...

SHE'S A BALLERINA AND SHE'S NOT EVEN SKINNY. DUDE. I'M TOTALLY GONNA BEAT HER. SHE WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT HER. I'M ALREADY OODLES MORE BAD ASS THAN HER. NOW I JUST GOTTA BE LIKE SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT MORE ATTRACTIVE.

i saw a bit of fear in her eyes when i was finished.

anywho. now i'm on some sort of insane quest to become way cooler than my best friend's girlfriend even though i'd never break them up. i'm a softie. so sue me.

on the bright side, my body temperature is like, crazy these days. as in low. not too low, but just low enough. (what does that even mean?!) i like it, though. when i go outside, i don't need a coat. because for me, it's body temperature. outside. it's cold, but it's warm.

jinkies. i just yawned. you know what that means.

i should be asleep in about two more hours.

actually, i might try to go to bed right now. i wanna exercise tomorrow. i miss it so much.

honestly.

4 comments:

Mia said...

Yey for the day off!

If she says something about the website, just tell her you just happened to get to that website while looking at other blogs.

❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

babe. xD
broccoli <333 gah. i love broccoli. so. fucking. much.
i have a huge amount of laxxies. i take like 6 when i binge. or even the entire 10-laxxie sheet. ow. purge.
fat ballerinas are not fake ones in my eyes. a lot of fat ballerinas are able to do their moves even better than their ones, eh.
hmm. nighty night, sweetheart. <3
-Sam Lupin

Depressed Skinny Mess. said...

Woohoo for days off :D Hopefully she didn't see the blog! Sounds like your doing well with that baby food! I think there are so little calories in that :) xx

xXzapxfireXx said...

Has nothing to do with your day but my friend is a ballerina and is short and fat. How does that work out?

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