i feel like a total ass.

so my plan worked. i didn't eat today. what i did do was drink right before that party. and take some adderall. what happened next... i'm not proud of, but it happened.


  • drank with owl girl (which is what we'll be calling the skinny transfer.)
  • danced with a bunch of people (i can't dance for shit.)
  • told a bunch of people i loved them (including people i didn't know.)
  • turned an innocent friend of mine into my babysitter (even though i know he totally has a crush on me.)
  • told the same innocent friend a bunch of shit about myself (minus the fact that i enjoy starving myself.)
  • had the innocent friend drop me home (in true babysitter fashion.)
  • made out with innocent friend for three hours (in classic missinsanity fashion.)
  • came inside my house around 4:15.
so now you know.

i feel like an ass, though. see, pirate, that girl from the halloween party, she told me he obviously liked me and that i should "totally hook up with him". MEMORY'S A BIT FUZZY but i'm pretty sure i kissed her like seven times at that point. then i kissed him. which was weird. i think it was his first kiss. (which makes me feel even worse.) i wasn't reallly looking forward to going home (coming home?) since i knew i might end up eating. so i did what any girl does in a situation like that. after we got to my house, i made out with him until he had to go home. classy, right? not really. 

he was such a sweetheart too. he was all like, "you're really pretty" and "i don't think you're crazy" although, sadly, he obviously didn't know anything about me. he said i'm cat-like, though. which is like, one of the highest compliments you could give me. ever. and yes, maybe he was an amateur kisser, but everyone at the party recognized him as my boy-toy. and he thoroughly enjoyed kissing me and listening to my stories about my family. still, i'm a total jerk for leading him on like this. NOT TO MENTION MY PHONE IS CURRENTLY IN THE OFF POSITION. so if he texts me over the weekend, sucks for him. if he calls me over the weekend, sucks for him. and if he tries to ask me out on monday... well, you know.

see, the way i figured it, it'd be all "cool, we made out, let's just go back to being buds now" but then he insisted i take his hoodie. which i already know is a bad sign. SHARING CLOTHING-- big no-no. but i took it, because i had to go inside and he had to go home and he wasn't going to leave unless i had it on. i really feel bad, though. i don't like interpersonal commitment and i'm pretty sure that's what he's into. monday is gonna suck monkey balls. seriously. i don't want to hurt his feelings, but i'm also fairly certain if he tries to build this into something more than what it is, i'll hurt him even more.

nobody wins.

'cept for me. 

at the end of the day, a two pound loss makes it totally worth it.

i'm supposed to be waking up in... two hours and i just got home. so i'm going to go to sleep now. EVEN THOUGH I NEVER FINISHED THAT PAPER. SCREW IT. i'm going to sleep.



❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

i just scrolled down to type my comment (i open one tab for reading, one tab for commenting), since as you know, i comment as i read and dude - PROCRASTINATION AGAIN?!
how do you get Addy? i want Addy.
i remember owl girl then. xD.
"danced with a bunch of people (i can't dance for shit)". oh God. i love you.
everyone has a crush on you, love.
speaking of which, i'm listening to Elliot Minor. another Elliot you should love. <333 he's so good.
but the kids i'm watching over's voices are way, way, way higher than his.
babe. what did you do?!
dude. you're bisexual? yummy.
babe. i always thought you were cat-like. like totally one of those Cheshire cats from how weird you are. i can totally imagine you walking around in one of those Alice in Wonderland shirts.
poor dude. sweetheart, you're such a bitch. ;) just being honest. but i love you like this.
sharing clothing. thus, sharing sweat. yup. close to sex, eh?
2lbs?! bitch. i'm jealous. 2lbs and i'd have hit my second GW.
oh God. missinsanity. you should totally work on that paper if you don't want to eat. xD. like i worked on Bio. (can you believe i've been awake since 6AM, haven't eaten, drunk only one can of Diet Pepsi and it's 3:30PM? yeah. i'm the boss.)
-Sam Lupin

Depressed Skinny Mess. said...

Kissing girls is fun ;) Sounds like you had a good time though! I'm sure this boy wont think your leading him on, it's only a hoodie :) Just make your intentions very clear to him :) xx

Anonymous said...

Hey, it's definitely worth it for a two pound loss and not to sound heartless, but if it worked out best for you then that's good :) I'm sure he'll get over it :) don't worry about it anyway :)
Lottie x

SkinnyNinny said...

haha sounds like a great night!!

GemDrop said...

That sounds like a party! :)
Mr Innocent Friend sounds a delight
Leading him on or not...The question remains...was it a nice hoodie?

Take Care

Christina said...

Sounds, uhm, eventful. As long as you had fun so whatever. The other stuff doesn't matter.


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