because your candle burns so bright, i almost forgot it was twilight.

i'm in love with elliott smith's music. i've been listening to it for like, a week straight now. (i'm supposed to be typing up a paper right now. BUT IT'S SO EASY, I COULD DO IT IN LIKE, TEN MINUTES, I SWEAR.) been listening to simon and garfunkel, vashti bunyan and neutral milk hotel too.

i need to stay outdoors longer. i find when i'm home, i end up eating. lately just green beans and lollipops, but it's just really odd. today, i woke up and i stretched a little, drank some water, went to school. i had absolutely nothing to eat. my stomach growled and everything, but i just shrugged it off. as soon as i came home... i don't even know what happened. but it's fine, i filled up on water. a lot of water. tomorrow, when i come home from school, i'm going to fill up on water before i even think about eating.

happy leap year, by the way.

my week could have gone better. the best friend of one of my old crushes seems to be after me. he keeps asking me to come to his car. i know for what reason, but i have no idea why. and my self esteem is dropping like a stone. again, i have no idea why.  and i have a midterm tomorrow. and my cellphone is off this week because i'm grounded.

i've never been grounded in my life. bad things happen when my sister comes home.

okay, i have to stop procrastinating. i'm going to type up half of this paper and sleep for about four hours, wake up and finish it.

i don't think i'll eat for the rest of the week. (and not just because i finished all of my green beans.)

i might hang out with that lovely skinny girl on saturday. it's her birthday. since she just moved up here. she doesn't have a best friend to celebrate her birthday with yet. that sucks. i know we're both going to the school party tomorrow, though. at any rate, i feel better when i'm not eating around her. (am i using her? no way.)

friday. i'll probably be back on friday. if not, saturday morning for sure. promise.

i miss free time. homework sucks.



❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

really? i don't quite fancy him. he has a nice voice. but Elliott Minor now...fuck. that man sings poetry. listen to Time After Time. he does not disappoint.
you haven such an odd amalgamation of music. oh fuck. who cares? Nirvana's one of them. <3
i used to come to school & have a coffee. coffee so curbs my appetite to the point where i don't even think about food.
fucking water. i had one water bottle today and that's like a lot for me.
tell him he can go suck his own balls.
babe. why do you keep procrastinating and doing this to yourself??
you'll be back on Friiiiiiiiday. <3 yay!
and that's tomorrow isn't it? well for me it is. anyway. 29/2! the day that my uncle has a birthday in.
let's start March with a bang, babe!
-Sam Lupin

lottie x said...

I've never heard of Elliott smith - I will YouTube it :)
I hope your self esteem improves and good luck with all the not eating! I am so jealous - I wish I could get away with fasting at home :/ I also always want to eat when I get home, but I've decided to go walking instead :) tbh I wouldn't have enough energy for school ATM if I fasted anyway :/
Good luck with your paper :)
Lottie x

GemDrop said...

Procrastination is the devil.
Hope your school stuff goes well.
Have a lovely week :)

Take Care

Depressed Skinny Mess. said...

Not eating is so hard when your home, i know! Try to stay away from temptation for as long as possible :) Go see friends, go to the park and read a book or relax under the sun when it gets warmer :) Good luck with your paper! xx

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