very funny.

my friend called me about two hours ago.

hey. i made the beans and such for tomorrow, but i'll need you to make some rice. funny you said that, and called at this EXACT MOMENT. wouldn't you know, i'm cooking rice right now. oh yeah? that's great. haha! yeah, yeah. i figured you'd forget about something like that. so how many servings of beans did you make? uhm... just make about seven cups. of rice?! that's madness! you're kidding, right? no wait... uhm... yeah, never mind, i'll make it. don't worry. i'm always picking up your slack. haha, that's what little siblings do. (NOTE: we are not related. but we should be. my life would be a lot better.) sure, sure, okay. i got it. see you tomorrow.

i don't know why it's weird, but having someone tell me to make approximately twenty-eight servings of rice for... (probably) eighteen servings of some kind of beans plus/etc/etc cooked thingy sounded absurd to me. why so much rice? there's no point to it. first of all, if there's too much rice, that's weird. and then, if there's not enough rice, that's weird. potlucks suck. actually, somewhere during that conversation, i think i said don't ask me anything about food servings, food makes absolutely no sense to me. i have no idea what to do with it. to which my friend responded, with more laughter, eat it?

yeah. haha. what a joker.

school starts for me on wednesday. all day today, i've been cleaning, and wondering, should i eat something? i've been eating for most of the winter break. isn't that... normal? shouldn't i eat something? but everyone always complains about gaining weight after the holiday season, i don't want to be one of those people. so i decided to have a last supper kind of thing. (so to speak.) the house was all sparkly and clean, so there i was, boiling water for rice. and then my friend called. you know that feeling, when you get caught doing something? i got that feeling. so i decided to donate my food to a worthier cause. or something like that. it made a lot more sense two hours ago. but after i decided to not eat the rice, i realized that i'm going "away" to a conference (of sorts) next weekend. and i don't intend to eat there. just because i don't like eating in front of people. and i'm not eating my friend's beany boopity blahblah tomorrow. (or the vegetables my mother's cooking, now that she's seen the rice i cooked for tomorrow. or anything tomorrow, most likely.)

speaking of which, what a jerk, eh? i cleaned the whole house, and she's in the kitchen messing it up. and she has the nerve to complain about me making the house messy. what a jerk.

but then i know if i don't eat, i'll end up telling banana probably, since she went to the gym today, and (darn my competitive side) i can be a real buttface sometimes. and then she'll be like, "fruits! eat fruits, they'll solve all your problems." and i'll be like, eating solves nothing! it's a temporary solution to a permanent issue! 

and so on and so forth.

so anyway, all of the aforementioned thoughts had just finished their third lap through my brain, when i decided, hey. i'm gonna eat something. (well, technically this was before my mother got home, so everything except that part.) and then my mother messed up the kitchen! what an outrage. normally, i'd close my door, so the stench of her repugnant foodstuff didn't suffocate me in my own room, but i currently have no doorknob.

and on top of all that, it's cold.

if this is life's idea of a joke, i'm not laughing.



ascendancy. said...

I also don't get why people eat so many carbs all the time. Like at restaurants when they are like oh here's your healthy stir fry. By the way... underneath the thin layer of veggies is the entire bowl of noodles. Enjoy obesity.

Food is so much more complicated than the average person thinks. I can't imagine just eating something without thinking about it for a while. Making sure it will fit in the plan.

Messing up the kitchen... ugh. I feel ya there. I really do. That actually drives me insane. I swear no one besides me and my mom know how to put a plate in the dishwasher. And heaven forbid the dishwasher is clean and needs to be unloaded. Like... holy balls. Not in this lifetime.


Rayya said...

I'm here I'm here I'm here! I'm thinking I might delete my blog though I haven't achieved a thing but leave me your email or maybe Mfp??? If you have it??? :) good to hear from you and hey - you know when you're getting old when... You have to do jury service :/ and OMY! I also have no door Handle (let's face it it was never a knob) bloody traumatic the way it broke off and I was locked in my room and desperately needed a wee... Man you don't know what you've got til it's gone haha I hope you are ok my lovely and you are utterly adorbs for remembering (I'm so old) love you loads.. Oh yeah - Mfp? Email? Peace and hugs! X

Bella said...

I eat so many carbs it's not even funny. It started as needing to keep my sugar levels stable, combined with a huge fear of eating protein/building muscle. I'll eat nearly a whole cup of rice with <50g of chicken/meat/whatever, whereas I used to have heaps more meat. Eh.
Good luck with the potluck tomorrow. Is it weird that I've never been to a potluck? Yeah well.


Jax said...

Okay it is absolutely the most annoying thing to spend heaps of time cleaning only to have someone else come and mess up everything. Like, have some respect. If you want to make a mess, go do it somewhere else or clean it up yourself.
Rice is always a tricky thing to make. How much is enough, how much is going overboard? My mother used to always complain about the unpredictability of cooking rice or potatoes or pasta. People are fickle with their carbohydrates.
Good luck with the pot luck, they can be a really difficult situation.

xx-- Jax

Rowan said...

Somehow, my comments refuse to be posted on your blog.

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