promises like pie crust.

yesterday, i hung out with another female without becoming homicidal. that's a good sign. at the beginning of this year, i promised myself i'd try to have more female friends, but i just ended up with more guys as friends. (i promise myself a lot of things. i'm still waiting for a peter pan plush.) but this girl, i think we could actually become good friends. maybe it's because we talked about things that were interesting.

we talked about socially awkward people in our school.
it's like, i feel bad for not wanting to be around him, so i try to spend more time with him. but then i just end up liking him even less. then i'm overly nice to make up for it.

we talked about our siblings.
if i  had money and she needed some, i'd help her out, ya know? but what do i get? nothing. family, huh?

we talked about classes. 
i love that it's always the same faces in my classes. it feels more close knit that way. and i swear, some days i'm so tired and i just feed off of your energy. how do you do it?

we talked about one of her patients.
she's fucking crazy, i swear. she's like, sitting on the bed, screaming that we're making her obese and  crying for laxatives. her legs are like, the size of my arm. i don't even know how she has so much energy.

up until that part, i had been smiling and laughing. but that was everything but funny. it was really weird, because before i met up with her, i went to the drugstore to buy some laxatives but it was closed. so instead i went to the grocery store and bought two gallons of water, which i'm still drinking. i was listening to her, but at the same time i was thinking to myself, i am really screwed up. seriously. if i could describe the little voice inside my head, i'd probably say she's fucking crazy. she's screaming that i'm making her obese and crying for laxatives and diuretics. i don't even know how she has so much energy. 

it was the most uncomfortable conversation of i've had this month. and i've been having some pretty strange talks lately. but then the topic changed to boys and i loosened up again. i told her about red. she said she completely understood. but then we had to split because she had to go to work and i needed to go home. 

basically, this is how my life has been until this point.

saturday-- hmm, maybe i should do my homework now while i'm thinking about it.
nah, i'll just pratice the guitar until my fingers and joints are aching.

sunday-- i have like, nothing to do... maybe i should do my homework now and get it over with.
or i could pratice the guitar some more, since i can still feel my fingers somewhat.

that being said, i'm probably going out again today for laxatives.

yes, i am insane. but i think this is the first time i've ever felt bad about it.



Sam Lupin said...

i love peter pan (peanut butter) and it's my favourite fairytale! <3
ah. women as friends. that's hard. do i count as a man or a woman? :o
i just got some laxatives today!
i actually do my homework, unlike most of you ladies! it helps me procrastinate food!
i always feel weird when buying laxatives.
now that's just gone.
i felt horrid buying the lipase inhibitors, because they were so fucking expensive! :(

-Sam Lupin

jackie said...

I'm glad you found a friend. and if guitar makes you happy, then by all means

Depressed Skinny Mess. said...

Haha, i can relate about talking to girls! It is harder :( More pressure and anxiety...dunno why? It's good you can talk to one girl though :) Go do your homework! :L xx

Bones said...

Girls are hard to be friends with, I agree... they're complicated. xx

ascendancy. said...

Homework.... Yay.

Girls are more trouble than they are worth. :/ but that's awesome you found an exception! It's nice to have a little estrogen around now and then. Much love miss.

Honor Regzig said...

Heheh yea I haven't done my homework in some 3 weeks...I'm barely passing.
Female friends can be awesome. And when they know my orientation they're less likely to whine about boys at me.
Ofc they also might decide to be evil and tease me. Straight girls can be evil.
It gets uncomfy and often annoying when non-ed folks talk about ed folks. At least a lot of peeps I know who actually talk about ed folks are Women's Studies majors and are more open to hearing actual ed viewpoints. They still don't know about me, and I intend to keep it that way, but it's nice to feel like I can speak up and be respectfully heard.

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