doth mine ears deceive me?

we got that new fridge. according to my sister (the stupid bitch), it's so big that even I could fit in it. actually, her exact words were "why is this fridge so big? why could you fit in this fridge?" she's a bit of a cunt.

the twenty my mother left when she went on her cruise? my sister asked me if she could borrow it. i told her she could because she said she'd pay me back. (what a load of bullshit.) what sucks is that i totally wanted to buy laxatives and i couldn't when i went to the store. and of course my sister already started opening the stuff i bought, which is messed up because she would never buy groceries. ever. and she's always complaining about the food i get and how it's all shit, but she eats it anyway. she really made me angry.

so i kind of lost my head for a bit, went through all of the cabinets, desperately looking for laxatives. you know what i found? epsom salt.

epsom salt. (it's probably from hell. just assuming.)

it can be used for muscle soreness, garden fertilizer and it's also a saline laxative. garden fertilizer and a saline laxative?! wtf. that should have tipped me off. it's evil, i swear. tastes like crap. once you get it down the hatch, you wait for a bit and then... well, there you go. the good part of it is there are no cramps (as far as i know). the bad part is that your stomach gurgles endlessly and you can hear water sloshing around. that could just be me, though. i drank a liter right after, trying to get the taste out of my mouth.

don't want to get too detailed here. but let's just say that i'll never try replacing store bought laxatives with anything i find in my cabinets again. on the bright side, it made me really sick. so sick, in fact, that my mother suggested i try a "water flush" to get toxins out of my body. basically i just got my mother's permission to do a water fast. because of epsom salt. which is still evil.

don't ever use it. i mean, this worked out for me, yes. but i wouldn't want anyone to do this. ever. people who take this are either desperate, crazy or some weird mixture of the two. like me. seriously. don't ever use it. unless you want to end up so ill that your parents tell you to stop eating for a while. it sounds good. BUT AT WHAT COST?!

the end did not justify the means.


oh and i totally noticed i have a couple new followers. (hello there!) and it would be really awesome, if i'm not following you, to link me to your blog. if you've got one. i wanna know what's going on in your life too, kay? <3 


Rayya said...

Aww your so cute. My sisters a bitch too, I hate her fucking cow. Ah hates a strong word. OK i strongly dislike her to the point where murder seems acceptable.. I guess thats better right?

She sounds like a dick seriously, hy dont you lock her in the fridge?

Ahh what kind of craziness did you ingest.. garden.. wtf... oh hun that sounds horrid.. I hate them times when its just water coming out and it feels like your pee is coming out the wrong place.. tmi my bad.

Much love xx

ednos Linny said...

I have that to soak my childrens wonds in if they start getting infected I have read on the back of the box that they can be used as a lax but have never tried it lol thank god. sorry it made you sick.

jackie said...

sorry for your stomach... I'm definitely not trying THAT any time soon.

I use the tablet laxies and they're only like $7 from CVS. not bad, I think. but then, I have a terrible sense of pricing.

and horay for the fridge! you can start keeping fruit and yogurt and things in the house!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I don't tend to use laxatives, I guess I'm too embarassed to buy them... but I'll remember not to use that !
Anyways I'm a new follower :) here's my blog http://whataliceeats.blogspot.com.au/
Alice xx

❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

shhhhhh. i'm sneaking in on here during my break just to tell you that i watched The Machinist a few days back and holy shit thinspo. CHRISTIAN BALE IS...
that man can do it all i say. i love this man very much. i was writing my story - re-re-writing my book and i remembered that one of my characters, Blaine, is so much after you. i was just reading some of your old posts and making them go along with Blainey's character ;o.
you're amazing. you really are.
ALSO. i always imagine the Dad to be Christian Bale so let's just say that the Dad only likes Blaine. ;o
then again, my character Blaine sorta has this thing for being greedy and is on Loki's radiar.
HOWEVER. fridge.
and Boca buns.
and other binge-worthy things (i'm totally religiously fasting right now and i can't drink anything). Ramadan. great ugh.

yours sincerely,
Sam Lupin

Venus said...

Gees bitch sisters everywhere lately... or in my case bitch mother who throws little sister under bus...
Not for real but yeah.

Slimarific said...

Hay, I started following recently, mine is http://slimarific.blogspot.co.uk/ if you would like to follow that would be freaking awesome! :D I hope your sister isnt so horrible today :) x

Depressed Skinny Mess. said...

That sounds horrible!! Never trying that haha! It's good you're doing a water fast though, get that shit all out of your system! Shop bought laxatives from now on! xx

Anonymous said...

Gah, I love you; I have so much catching up to do - I missed you and your words.
You're lovely.

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