just blowing off steam. don't mind me.

the less sleep i get, the less i want to eat. but at the same time, the less sleep i get, the more i hate people. i've spent most of this week indoors, since my mother's away on her own personal vacation and i don't like leaving the house unattended too long. (my sister likes coming home late, which is totallly unfair.) anyway, this total poobrain from across the street came asking for my mother today.

I HATE THIS GUY. (AND ALSO, I NEEDED A PLACE TO DIRECT SOME OF THIS ANGER I'VE BEEN SUPPRESSING AGAINST MY SISTER.)

when i was really young, my parents had a little white '89 ford festiva. BEST. CAR. EVER. no kidding. i can see myself proudly driving one. but anyway, it was a piece of crap, this one. always breaking down or smoking suddenly and without warning. but that's what made it fun. never knew if you'd get where you were going. me and that car... we had some good times.

and then mother said it was time to get a new car. YEAH, NO THANKS, MA. I'LL STICK WITH SILVERWINGS. (which is what i named the car. everything special deserves a name.) but obviously, since i was six, no one would listen to me. so it was byebye, silverwings and hello maroon dodge caravan. took a while for me to get over silver, but when i did, rooney (the new car, as in marooney. not very imaginative, hm? BITE ME.) and i became pretty close. i fell asleep in his backseat, we went on trips to new jersey and pennsylvania and virginia, we moved here with that car.

and then it broke. and we got a new car. and then daddy died. (obviously, some time lapses between there.) and mother said-- not too long ago-- it was time to move that "trash heap" out of the backyard because it was "decreasing the property value". YOU KNOW WHAT'S DECREASING THE PROPERTY VALUE? HER FACE.

so this jerk from across the street has been asking for it for a while. why? because it's a fucking awesome car, that's why. and she GAVE IT TO HIM. bits of my childhood were in that car. hell, some nights when i was in high school, i slept in that car just to be away from her. and today this shit-eating old dickwad came up to me while i was sitting on the steps to tell me that the car was missing a few parts. WELL FUCK. YOU GOT IT FOR FREE YOU ASSHOLE. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU COMPLAINING FOR. and then he goes on to say he'd like to ask my mother to go snooping around in the garage.

OVER MY BLOODY CORPSE.

like hell he's stepping in that garage.

call me over-protective or... maybe overly loyal, but i don't want people fucking up that garage any more than my stupid cunt of a mother already has. me and my papa bear spent a lot of time in there, playing with tools and fixing our bikes. and we have everything in a certain order, see? now if he goes in there, he'll try taking stuff. stuff that doesn't belong to him any more than my car does!

like i told my friend on the phone-- if he so much as touches my garage door or walks into my backyard, i'll totally set his bushes on fire. DON'T FUCK WITH PYROMANIACS.

and my sister's been asking me-- for FIVE DAYS IN A ROW-- if i wanted chinese food. NO MEANS NO. but apparently, she won't stop FUCKING ASKING because mother dearest left a twenty on the FUCKING table. WHY. WASTE. EVEN A PENNY OF TWENTY DOLLARS. ON. FUCKING. TAKEOUT.

i wanted to buy laxatives. i needed to buy laxatives.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN REDUCED TO?!

PRUNES.

THIS ISN'T A NURSING HOME.

and to top it all off, this psycho bitch has been sleeping in mom's bedroom. where the phone with the damn answering machine is. THE ONLY ANSWERING MACHINE. THE MACHINE, NOT SURPRISINGLY, THAT THE DELIVERY COMPANY CALLED AND LEFT A MESSAGE ON. they were supposed to deliver the fridge. TODAY. if my mother comes back from vacation and we don't have a new fridge, it'll be my fault. because of course the younger sister who stays at home because of deep seeded personal insecurities is supposed to take care of EVERYTHING.

SO NOW I HAVE TO KEEP THIS STUPID OLD FART OFF MY PROPERTY, WHILE NOT LETTING HIM FIND OUT MY MOTHER'S AWAY, AND I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO GET THE FRIDGE HERE BEFORE SUNDAY AFTERNOON. WHEN MY MOTHER GETS HOME.

AND MY SISTER'S BUYING TAKE OUT. I DON'T NEED FRIES AT 10:15 AT NIGHT.

BUSFDLJGKJDAL.

..............................

phew. got a lot of tension out of my neck just now. that's better. sorry about that.

honestly.