7.31.2012

guilt is quite the motivator.

thanks for all the well wishing, friends. i'm feeling much better. three cheers for soup. hip, hip, hooray.

remember banana, my friend with whom i have a highly complex relationship? i found out she was bulimic a while ago. we went on a big girl's binge night out kind of thing. we hit up a few fast food places, a chinese store, and a pharmacy, where i told her all about how i was a secret laxative junkie. sometimes we don't see eye to eye and she pisses me off and makes me want to scream in her face, but she's more like my sister than my own sister. she would actually listen to me whine about any aspect of my life. she's stayed up with me until three a.m., crying over some idiot who wasn't worth it. sure, she doesn't always act like the greatest friend, but i feel more comfortable around her because of that. she's human. it's okay.

she's a really good friend. so naturally, i feel terrible because i've become more antisocial than usual. and i think she might benefit from a friendly visit. which i would totally do, if not for the fact that she lives three hours away and i don't drive. i want to help her out, but i can barely get myself out of the house. so in a desperate attempt to keep myself from doing what i did the summer i was fourteen-- staying inside, watching horror movies, listening to heavy metal, and laying in bed reading jenny and the cat club-- i've made  a list of things i have to do before the end of august. i'm going to put it here, in case i lose motivation.

to do (before 08.31.12)

clean all surfaces and windows in my room
take b.j. to a groomer
finish entire book list
arrange books by genre
organize clothes by possible weather conditions
sleep in the backyard at least twice
write three short stories, possibly for school lit. magazine
write one song
mop room floor
clean basement, as well as other rooms in the house
buy new sneakers or boots
get new glasses before school starts
visit banana, help her cheer up

hopefully i'll actually do all of this. or at least try to. if not, the end of summer will find me laying in a fog of my own stench, slowly wasting away. although i must admit, the wasting away part sounds pretty good.

honestly.

7 comments:

Rayya said...

Woop I hope you do this too, I may randomly just add random bananas in my posts to remind you so watch out! You have been warned.. lol I am like that I get so antisocial and then I spend so much time and effort making up to the friends that I have shut out for no good reason.. This summer will be different for both of us! <3 x

jackie said...

I'm completely anti-social during the summer. Even my best friends hardly see me at all. I like the list. And the boots!!!! I was looking to buy a similar pair last night, but I need to watch my money a bit better.

Are you a phone person? Maybe you could call? Haha I don't know what you want to do about banana.

I think I'm going to copy that idea and make a list as well

Depressed Skinny Mess. said...

I'm barely seeing my friends too, its so hard when all you can think of is depressing thoughts =/ so i totally understand that! I agree with above, could you phpne her? Or talk on facebook or something? Just until you can reach her? It's a good list by the way :) It'll keep you motivated! xx

Alice May said...

Hey, I am like that too, I can be pretty antisocial, like months at a time without seeing my friends. But they are so lovely in not giving up on me and always ask me if I want to catch up :)
I hope you get all the things on your list done!
Alice xx

Jinx ANA UnRiddled said...

Yeh, I've done that before! I even stoped going to school for the most part (attended on average 2 days a week) for three years! It's actually fun, but you know, not the best...
Good luck with your to-do list! I never ever end up doing mine :(

Venus said...

Hm. I have noticed that different blogs I follow will have the same moods around the same time and August seems to be becoming a month to achieve things. I hope it carries over. I hope you can get the list done. I would do one of them and then forget the list existed until I found it when I actually got around to cleaning the next month. I hope you can at least get around to visiting this friend. Putting it off could turn out being a huge mistake, especially if right now she needs you the most but you take too long to realize it. I hope things work out. :)
xoxo

Slimarific said...

Good luck with your list, but you forgot the most important item which needs to go on a list, 1) write a To Do list, which you can now cross off :D! accomplishment!

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