fluffy clouds and sky.

feeling a bit better today. partly because i snuggled with my old teddy bear last night. (i did say i enjoy familiarity every once in a while, right?) i've had this snoopy plush since i was barely three years old. you wouldn't believe me if i told you i had to fight to keep him. that's how special he is. *feels like a baby* but anyways. thanks for the support. took a while to sink in, but it really helped.

i've spent most of today re-reading my favorite books, listening to music, looking at thinspo, and drawing a little bit in my journal. it comes out looking really childish.  i've been drawing things like mermaids with lovely ribs. bunnies with carrots saying, "mmm, negative calories." girls in catsuits who remind me to eat no evil. i found scented nail polish in my house and gave myself a mini-manicure. my nails smell like a strawberry sundae and sparkle from the glitter. they make me smile. ^^ i'm also watching the mailbox, waiting for a package. hopefully it comes today.

my mom and i had one of those physically draining verbal fights last night. i reminded her that she said i could join the gym after i registered and she said something like, "is that why you registered? so you could join a gym?" it was definitely on the list of reasons why i stopped procrastinating, but i wasn't going to admit that. anyway, i said no and repeated that i still wanted to join. she started yelling and i stopped talking. no sense in wasting energy. then she said something about me ruining my future or something, and i totally flipped out. caught her off guard. she didn't say anything for the rest of the night. or this morning. maybe that's why i'm feeling better too. peace is always relaxing.

a friend of ana -- i'm pushing through as best as i can. bit like running through a tar pit, but i'm getting there. thanks for the boost. :)

mich -- it has to be the moon. and i'm fabulous? o: haha, thanks! so are you! <3

christina -- mothers... i'm trying to not let it get to me. some days are just worse than others, i guess. thanks for the support. <3

seriously, guys, thanks a lot. by the way, i'm back on track. it's not like i gained a stone or anything. and what goes up must come down, right? (fuck you, scale.) i was reading some shel silverstein earlier. where the sidewalk ends is one of my favorite books by him. and the only one i own, haha. came across this really groovy poem. i'm going to write out the first part, decorate it and put it on my wall somewhere. you can read the whole thing if you want.

oh what do you do, poor angus,
when hunger makes you cry?
"i fix myself an omelet, sir,
of fluffy clouds and sky."

vegans don't eat eggs, you know. and i think i used to enjoy omelets very much. almost as much as pizza. i'll have to try that recipe later. it sounds delicious. and very low-cal, too! haha, the strawberry scented nail polish fumes must be getting to me.

but i don't mind.



a friend of ana said...

I absolutely love shel silverstein!! his poems are so funny and childish :-) and i like his drawings too. maybe i'll get one of those tattooed on me somewhere... that would be cool. i am so glad you are back on track!! whats in the package? I love getting mail!!

jackie said...

just read your blog from start to finish. that was fun :) i really like you, missinsanity. i hope you and your mother can get along. and that she lets you get the gym membership anyway.
are you still water fasting? keep going and you'll be like jesus. (lol i don't know why i always think of him when i think of fasting... ghandi did it too :P)

crashxDburn said...

Sorry about the fight with your mom. I have to repeat my earlier opinion of her: she is totally unreasonable (I don't know if I ever actually expressed that to you or not). How would joining a gym ruin your life? It would actually be on the positive side of things! Crazy old bat (haha, sorry, no offense intended). Anyway, I'm glad you're in a better mood and I hope you keep feeling better. :)

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

I hope you feel better. Shel Silverstein can always cheer me up.

Jen :) said...

Yeah familiar things are good :) when I moved in with my bf, all the things in the house were his and there before, he didn't understand why I had to have my
Pictures in the living room and my teddies in the bedroom. It was only because it made the place feel familiar and feel a bit more like home :)
Jen :)

Christina said...

I had a fight with my this morning, so I'm staying at my boyfriends place tonight. I agree, some days are a whole lot worse than others.

Anyway, I'm glad that you're feeling better :)


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