to my ex-crush.

dear tino,

i'm sorry i told you i liked you. if i had known it would make things so awkward on your side, i wouldn't have done it. i thought we were totally perfect together. everyone else thought we were too. i mean my friends. i don't even think your friends considered it.

even though we don't really talk that much anymore (which will make seeing you when school starts again that much more fun), i'm glad we spent that time together. even if you didn't like me, i thought- and still think, to a certain degree- that you're an amazing person. you know how sometimes you like someone and then you realize they're losers? well, i wish i could say that about you. i mean, the only flaw i can think of is that you're a complete narcissist. did that make me echo?

anyway, i'm also glad i came to your band's gig after i told you i liked you. i meant it when i said you looked like an angel playing the guitar onstage. the restaurant was mostly dark, with the light shining mainly on you, even though you weren't even the lead singer. i couldn't have taken my eyes off of you then anyway.  i hope you don't let it get to you. i mean, i'm taken now anyway, so don't ruin our friendship, okay? i don't have many friends who love bjork as much as we do.

if you had told me you liked me too (which many of our friends are still saying you do), and we had ended up together, you would've realized how perfect we were together. now we'll only be friends. you only have yourself to blame.

when i see you in a few weeks, i want you to give me a hug like we used to. i want to listen to music together and play air guitar like we used to. i want us to laugh like we used to. i want us to ride my unicycle together. i want us to be friends again. i miss you. even if we aren't friends in the same way, i'm glad we met anyway.

i liked you from the first second i saw you, by the way. it wasn't because you were in a band, or because you had a classic name. i liked you even more after we talked. i liked you for you. not your looks. not that you're bad looking. and i don't blame you for not liking me back, tino. if i was a guy, i would want my girlfriend to be skinnier than me. when school starts, i hope i'm smaller than you. i want you to think of all the possibilities that could've happened and didn't. i want you to suffer a little too. i know it sounds mean, but i think you deserve it.

don't feel too bad, though. you're still one of the cutest guys i know.

honestly.