there's such a chill.

today is one of the scariest days i've had all year.

i went to visit that charming stranger with the blue eyes and ended up not going through with that (because i'm a total chicken and i felt like a stalker, even though he said to visit sometime). but anyway, i sat on this bench near a hot dog stand and i was reading a book. the rain was falling, everything just felt a bit mysterious. unreal. a squirrel ran up to some people sitting near me, looked at them expectantly. i knew without a doubt that something wasn't right. the squirrel wanted a piece of a hot dog. they didn't notice it. or what amounts to the same thing, they ignored it. so like, this squirrel moves behind my bench. i thought it was cute. i didn't want to scare it, so i waited a few seconds before turning around.

only to see the squirrel gripping a small bird (maybe a starling? i don't know what they're called) by the neck and biting into it. it broke the bird's wings and killed it. that's not normal, i know. what's even worse is that the squirrel proceeded to feast on the bird, barely a stone's throw away from me. sickened, and feeling slightly nauseous, i came home and went to sleep on the floor.

when i woke up, my mom was asking for the computer, so i gave it to her. i came on the computer to read some blogs and found a distressing suicide letter written by Bonjour Bones ! i really hope she's okay.

i really, really want her to be okay. maybe it's not too late, so just drop her a line. just something. 

even if it's just "hang in there." i don't know.

if there's one thing we can give her, it's support. i think it's the least we can do.



Rachel B. Nutt said...

Squirrels do eat baby birds and bird eggs all the time right out of the nest (I know because I grew up in the middle of the woods). Squirrels actually got into my family's attic and chewed on the electrical wires, causing the house we lived in for 20 years to burn down. Those things are crazy.

But it does seem pretty weird that you saw one eating a bird down on the ground like that. It kind of implies that there are too many squirrels and not enough nuts, or something like that.

I googled it and did find other people talking about squirrels eating birds, though.

I'm sorry you had to see that. It must have been quite disturbing.

And I'm sorry we all had to see that suicide note. I read it as soon as she posted it and I haven't stopped thinking about her all night. And I have been out of the blogger "ana" world for months until very recently. My heart is wrenched. Wrenched.

a friend of ana said...

oh what an awful thing to watch. i would have been mortified too. hope that girl is ok!!

Rachel B. Nutt said...

She is okay, she is okay! Check out her latest post. :)))

jackie said...

sorry for the scary day. i hope your tomorrow is less freaky.

Bonjour Bones ! said...

Thank you very much. <3
I'm feeling bitter-sweet. It's so hard letting go of a thought and feeling you've had for nearly four years. But I'm trying really really hard to change my ways.

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