8.24.2011

insomnia. fun, fun, fun.

i've had insomnia since i was like, seven. it comes and goes, i've noticed. i know i've had it since i was seven, because i can remember laying in bed, pretending to be asleep until everyone else was. then i would get out of bed and sit on a chair by the window, staring at the moon. maybe that's why i'm a lunatic. (harhar. english humor.) as i got older, though, i found other things to do. like reading books with flashlights under the blankets. or, like tonight, watching movies i stumble upon accidentally. the film-- whip it. the actress-- ellen page. the accident-- devo. just kidding. i love that song.

my friend is in love with her. i don't blame him. she's pretty freaking cool. i'm not just saying that because we were both born on the same day (february twenty first), or because she's from nova scotia (which is the most amazing place in canada, ever). i just love the roles she plays and the way she thinks. i don't know her, though, so i could be wrong. but as far as i know, she's a pretty awesome lady.

anyway, thanks to this movie, i'm thinking about my old hobby. roller skating. i'm one of the most impulsive people in the world, so i'm not sure about this. my fear of clowns and obsession with juggling fruit led me to get a unicycle. a unicycle that i can ride, yes, but seriously- what the hell do i do with it? roller skating is probably smarter. people won't look at you like you're growing a second head if you do it in public. i used to be the best skater on my block, as far as i know. probably because no one else did it. maybe i'll be normal for a change.

anywho, here come the bad habits. got pumped full of iron rich food, hit the reject button and got rid of it. in retrospect, it really did nothing for me. but there was a sick sort of satisfaction in it. that reminds me. something happened yesterday. i tricked my mom into getting on the scale and it said 132.6. (see? i can use numbers like regular people.) i told her i was one-eighteen and she laughed. really. it started with pffft and went right into snickers. and i'm not talking about those delicious little calorie bombs. she said i apparently "can't be because you're big boned like your aunt." just so you know, any sentence with me,  a simile and  my aunt is not a good sentence. of course, by then i had eaten. which didn't make me feel better. but it's fine. she'll see how big my bones are eventually. two weeks, hopefully. and i'm getting the supplements. good idea. <3 i should be one-seventeen by friday, at least. and then my next goal weight is one hundred. cheers.

now back to semi-cheerful things. i decided to do my back to school clothes shopping from salvation army thrift stores this year. why, you ask? even if you didn't,  i'll tell you anyway. first of all, i get more for less. seriously. i paid four dollars for a hoodie that cost eight times that much. and the money goes to help people who need it. so i can donate to myself and the salvation army at the same time. i think over the summer, i might have used up my girly reserves. so i'm probably going to end up dressed like kids from nineties shows. grungy. i don't object to this at all. grunge is totally comfortable. and it fits me. slap bracelets, butterfly clips, nineties pride all the way. the sad thing is, sometimes when people donate clothes, they do look pretty grungy. lumberjack shirts and shirts with holes. (if you ever donate clothes, make sure you're not just throwing away. donate something that you'd wear.)

so there you have it. sorry about not posting as much. i've been watching old nineties shows (clarissa explains it all, freaks and geeks, my so-called life, doug, etc.), old eighties movies (say anything, some kind of wonderful, better off dead, happy together, etc.), and reading books. writing songs too. plus, since my puppy chewed my ipod charger and i'm in a frugal mood, i'm back to my good ol' cd player.

THAT'S RIGHT. NO SHAME IN IT.

it actually fits with the whole nineties kid thing i'll be doing, so it's fine. i can see it now. marble notebooks and number two pencils. an eraser shaped like a nose. horribly outdated slang. messy hair and oddly arranged outfits. i'll be the weirdest kid on campus.

so basically, nothing's going to change.

honestly.

2 comments:

a friend of ana said...

haha i love your new outlook. Back in high school my friend and i went through an 80s and 90s phase. we made mixed tapes and wore pink and listened to strictly 80s and 90s bands. oh yeah we were cool haha.
and grunge is awesome!! long live kurt cobain! :-) king of the grunge.
oh and little james frnaco in freaks and geeks! he grew up soooo well!
sorry for the odd comment.
you are doing great!!
<3

jackie said...

You're adorable. Love the retro vibes. Maybe I'll take out my old butterfly clips too... Hmm.
xx jax

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